So! You are going to play a white elephant gifts exchange? Take a look at my ideas. (But first, you should know how to play it, eh?)

These white elephant gifts are a) funny but b) something you can use. That means goodbye to fake-outs and useless gifts. Think white elephant gifts that are funny, yet people will keep stealing. This is my idea of what a good white elephant gift is.

Funny Books (Coffee Table, Cookbooks, Self-Help)

Coffee table books: Good for a laugh or two while waiting for someone or just lounging in the living room while sipping tea. These white elephant gifts will surely be a steal — literally.

Cookbooks: Funny book white elephant gifts that teach how to cook… or tries to. Perfect if the person who gets it has a love for cooking, whether cooking loves them back, or not.

Self-help books: They don’t really help you. Oh, wait… they do help you laugh.

Extraordinary Chickens

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So entertaining. Those who love cocks (the avian variety) will love this book! This features unusual looking chicken at are marvelous and hilarious at the same time. Think Lady Gaga of the poultry world. (On a side note, I think that is Bob Marley’s Chicken.)

Wet Dog

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If you do not like giving away cocks, you might want to give away bitches (the female canine variety). this is a compilation of really charming, cute, and funny pictures of fluffy dogs suddenly shrinking in size after getting wet. this actually reminds me of my Shih Tzu and Pomeranian. Also makes a great gift for dog lovers.

F in Exams

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In high school, have you ever tried to get points from an exam question that you have no idea about? The pages of these books have done that in the most creative and hilarious ways. Some failed to get a few points, some got a little for humor. You get to see those in this coffee table book.

Awkward Family Photos

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Photos of families in the most hawkward ways possible. This book makes you thankful you have your dysfunctional family.

All My Friends Are Dead

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This is a funny book about things being lonely because their friends have perished one way or another. It is written and styled like children’s book, for clean adult humor.

Fifty Shades of Chicken

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This cookbook lets you cook your poultry BDSM style… not really, but the names of the recipes have this sexual feel, the chicken might feel violated while being cooked. Prepare the kitchen, Ms. Ana Steele.

What the F*** Should I Make for Dinner?

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This cookbook is hilariously vulgar! This recipe book contains fifty recipes in a humorous, vulgar manner. This is the closest to having a pirate chef.

Cooking Comically

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Simple cookbook for those who are just starting out in the kitchen (like my wife) and likes comic (like my wife) and like simple dishes (like my wife). Maybe I should get this one for my wife too.

Just Stop Having Problems, Stupid!

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Instantly takes care of all your problems… like trolling online but with less legal consequences.


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You did not notice the spelling mistake, eh? Look again. It is called Selp-Helf, which is a book chock full of useless information by YouTube celebrity Miranda Sings. Miranda is an expert in getting a boyfriend, dressing up for a date, and of course, performing magic.

Funny and Hilarious Toys and Action Figures

The internet seems to be teeming with useless white elephant gifts. These are gifts that get us a few laughs but get thrown away at the end of the party. While I mentioned earlier that the main purpose of white elephant gifts exchange is to entertain and not gain gifts, being able to bring home a funny but useful gift is something people deserve. Not some crazy fakeout iPad.

Here are some funny statues, figurines, soft toys, and action figures as white elephant gifts. They can have their kid play with the action figure or just use these as desk display that begs to be laughed at every time.

Talking Bacon Plush

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Bacon is your friend… and everyone else in the gift exchange, too. When you hug Mr. Bacon, he talks in the most smooth, baritone voice, “I’m Bacon” which makes any woman turn to putty. Anyway, Bacon will surely be the star of the White Elephant gift exchange.

Remember kiddies, you’ve got a friend in meat.

Sperm Cell Plush

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From the guys who brought your kids gonorrhea and herpes in plush form. This sperm Cell Plush is going to be a nice stealing starter at your Yankee swap.

Crazy Cat Lady Action Figure

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An awesome white elephant gift especially if you have people who love cats joining the party. It might even remind them not to be this woman… or encourage them to be one.

Super Mom Action Figure

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Can handle eight different tasks at the same time! Supermom will offer great laughs as people try to assemble carrying baby and grocery shopping at the same time. It is like being a single mom without getting pregnant yourself!

Snoop Dogg Action Figure

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Warning, this action figure does not curse, gets high and directs “movies” like Snoop Dogg. Though, I have to admit, looks just like the real thing!

Hilary Clinton Nutcracker

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You know what? This looks like Hilary Clinton herself! This action figure also doubles as a nutcracker, so this is going to be a great gift if ever lands in the hands of a baker. It even stands upright for that most patriotic pose.

Mike (from Jersey Shore) Bobblehead

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This Bobblehead not only looks like Mike from Jersey Shore, it also shares his big bloated ego and air head (pun intended). Makes for a good laugh in the car, don’t you think?

Looking for More Christmas Gift Ideas?

Here are some ideas we made: